Are you? Do you know what you want? Do you know what you don’t want? Do you know where you want to be in 5, 10, years? If you don’t have some sort of idea for the path you want to take, will you be wandering aimlessly your whole life?
Let’s talk about a partner for your journey.
When I was a kid, the only thing I knew about what I wanted, was that I wanted to get married and have children. So, the first opportunity that came up, I took it! I was SURE I was in love with him because I didn’t know what love was at that age.
Fast forward 18 years and I realize that what he thinks is love and what I think is love are two totally different things. So I sent him on his way. I’d rather be in NO relationship, than the wrong one. Besides, it’s easier to meet the right guy if you’re not stuck with the wrong one.
So, “what” is the right guy? My ex was pretty good to me, overall. He encouraged me in whatever I wanted to do. He made good money but didn’t know how to handle it. But he was always flying to other states or countries. If we drove past the airport, the kids would ask if we could go visit Daddy. Some would consider that ideal! A rich husband that’s never around that supports your endeavors emotionally and monetarily, ………….. but alone. That’s not what I wanted.
So I knew excessive money didn’t make me happy. I’m not stupid, though. I’d like someone who has a job and can help support the household. No deadbeats need apply.
I’m not talking about hair color, body type, or other shallow aspects. Do you want someone who: loves animals, has a sense of humor, handles money well, is or is NOT conceited. Personality things.
Now, if you say you love all people, that’s GREAT!!! I love all people too but I sure as hell don’t want to partner with some of them and I could tell you why for each individual. We’re talking about IN love.
Do you want your partner to share in ALL your hobbies? Do you look for an extrovert so you don’t have to be in the spotlight? Can you handle an extrovert at home? Same political opinions or opposite? Religion? Table manners? (I can’t tolerate bad table manners.)
Why am I writing this?
Let me help you understand dating without social media.
Assuming this isn’t a blind date, your date picks you up. He/She comes to your door or honks the horn because they can’t call or text. Horn honkers rater lower in my book.
You open the front door to see the person whom you’ve chosen to spend an enthralling evening, without an easy escape cuz you don’t have a phone to call for a ride. I bet you’d choose more wisely whom you’d entrust with your life. Also, your parents got a look at him. Sometimes parents are a Godsend of smart decisions, sometimes not.
You will be able to assess:
- what he/she thinks are good clothing choices for a public impressions
- his/her breath
- his/her hair
- his/her vehicle
- his/her idea of a date, ie: food, movie, location.
Of course, the rest of the date’s outcome depends on personalities and choices.
The point being, you didn’t text for “a whole day” to find out your in love and have to meet and procreate! There was no “netflix and chill” which is code for “I wanna fuck you, but don’t want to spend the money for dinner or even get off my lazy ass to get you” (deadbeat).
I just see too many people NEEDING to find their perfect someone that they don’t take the time to get to know them. But, first you have to know what personality traits are important to you and what ones you want to avoid.
Happiness doesn’t come from finding someone. It comes from finding yourself. ♥