Sadness

My week started out great with an awesome ZOOM interview for a new at home job. The interview was relaxed. I seemed to say all the right things… which I actually meant. My daughter got a HUGE raise at work. We got all our Christmas shopping done. My energy was high and I was feeling great.

By Wednesday, that high became quite a low.

I woke to a text from my sister that my brother had been taken by ambulance to the hospital. He’s been battling a terminal lung disease for 3 years. The same my mother had, and I witnessed firsthand all the trips in and out of the hospital. So we assumed that this was going to be the beginning of such for him.

Then, I didn’t get the job. I was extremely surprised and shocked. A dip in energy and a loud sigh. There’s more jobs out there. Keep pushing forward!

I called my brother at the hospital and he was indisposed. The nurse told me they gave him a breathing treatment and he was doing better. Phew!

A couple hours later my sister called to let me know my brother had passed away. 0.0 “Wait, WHAT???”

As the paramedics were taking him from the house, he had then stop so he could retrieve a piece of paper from under his TV. I had forgotten about a little thing called a DNR – do no resuscitate. He had tried once before to leave the world, obviously unsuccessful. And he didn’t want to go through all the rigmarole to keep himself alive, like we did for Mom, when he didn’t really want to be here anymore. So, when his body shut down, all they could do was wait.

So, yeah, it sucks that he’s gone. But, he’s happier than he was laying around waiting to die (depending on your viewpoint, of course). We imagine him hanging out with our parents and another brother that passed when I was a teenager. The two of them are probably sneaking off to get stoned.

We didn’t get together because of Covid-19. But, we had a zoom meeting with relatives yesterday. It was nice to see everyone. And, now that we all have the technology to zoom, it seems it will be a monthly thing moving forward.

Hug your loved ones. They may be gone before you know it, even when you’re “prepared” for it. ♥

Lexi

living the second life.

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