Christmas Spirit

I absolutely love Christmas for two reasons, the birth of Christ and getting presents for someone else’s birthday. I love presents.

I grew up in a large family on a serviceman’s salary. We didn’t have a lot. I remember mom telling me she used to have only a dime in her purse to make a phone call for emergencies. They didn’t believe in credit, so we only got what they could afford. And I don’t recall ever feeling “cheated” at Christmas.

It’s been a little harder to get into the Christmas Spirit this year. I’m struggling with my family and what jerks they are. They’ve always been jerks, with scattered moments of niceness I can count on one hand. They did help a little financially during my blindness. I think they love me and show it in their own odd ways…. or I’m just making excuses for them.

All during my childhood, they told me I was adopted. They hated me for being the youngest, cuz ya know, that was under my control. They told me I have Dumbo ears, which I don’t. And I have always had them on pedestals, admiring their individual talents and successes and just quietly hoping they would admire mine, and they didn’t. When they weren’t picking on me, they were telling me to go away.

So all this has been swirling in my head, brought on by the holidays and my longing for large family gatherings of love around the Christmas tree. Instead, my two kids and I will have our own rituals. I’ll wake them both at an ungodly early morning hour because I have already waited too long to get to the presents, start the coffee and the oven, pop in some cinnamon rolls and start with the stockings.

I’m also gonna do a little something for my neighbors. I’m making little packages with hot cocoa and candy canes wrapped in ribbon. I can afford it and most people like it. I LOVE to give presents almost as much as I love receiving them. Unfortunately, I’m poor. 🙂 So the gifts will just be a little something from the heart instead of the wallet.

Thanks for letting me vent. Remember to spend your holidays with those you KNOW love you!

May you have a wonderful Holiday. If you’re not celebrating a holiday, then have a wonderful week. ♥

Lexi

living the second life.

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